What if love isn’t the goal?

Part of my training as a shaman and as a martial artist was to turn things upside down. Literally and figuratively. This has been a valuable practice that leads to many new insights and to answers that I might miss otherwise.

The material for a Shaman’s Journey comes from the experiences in their life – “your path lies before you.” So, recent events in my life have caused me to look carefully at the meaning and value of love, and the place it has in our spiritual growth. Here are some of my thoughts:

Love is greatly prized by society. It is the dream and hope for relationships. It is the cultural icon of the highest of human ideals and capabilities. It is even at the core, the “heart”, of most religions (next to its dark twin, fear). Is it any wonder then, that we naturally place it on the highest pedestal we can find. Is it not the greatest objective that we can experience, and for which we have been created?

Or, is it?

What if Love is the tool, that takes us to greater spiritual realms, What if Love is the vehicle to be used on our journey to Divinity, rather than the objective of our quest? Could it be that it was planted within our breast as a seed of great potential to motivate us to become something greater than we are as mere mortal humans? And, what if that quest leads us to something that is even greater than Love, something so powerful and so far removed from our sociality now that we cannot even comprehend it?…yet.

For many, the idea of perceiving anything beyond the physical senses is absurd. This is understandable. The five senses are so profound, so filled with information that demands our attention, there is little left to perceive the extremely subtle information that comes from other senses. It takes a deliberate intention to become aware of the other senses. Yet, we all experience the effects of these other senses.

One example is “body language”, the colloquialism that describes meta-communication. There is information in our communication that cannot be quantified in the words used. It is typically below the conscious level, and is hidden in components such as tonality, body positioning, and facial expressions. That is why it is easier to misinterpret written communication than telephonic, and audio rather than visual. The data stream of additional information, the meta-communication, is much greater as you add more senses. But, they are increasing subtle and more difficult to consciously perceive.

What if Love is like our five senses? Perhaps, it is so powerful in its emotional impact that it overwhelms the information that is available simultaneously – the “meta” information. Since no one is reminding us to look for something even more subtle that lies beyond Love, we may have lost the cultural memory that there is something more fulfilling and beautiful than the divinity of Love.

What if we were to become aware of that special something beyond Love, the “meta-Love”? How would that change our relationships? What impacts would that have upon society? How would religions have to change? But, most important, how would our lives be affected?

Right now, if you are like most people, you probably have some ideal built around love. You probably hope to experience this “perfect” love, and believe it will fulfill you and be the epitome of life’s experience. You might seek this in relationship with another – the “love of my life”, or your soul-mate. You might expect to find it in a relationship with your God, through a life of devotion, adoration and service. You may be among the small group that combines these two into a practice such as Tantra, where your partner becomes an expression of the Divine.

Some will find it through acts of love for others, perhaps your family, or for a group of people whom you might consider less fortunate. Sometimes this will be an expression of the person’s love for God. Mother Teresa is a modern example.

All of these are wonderful demonstrations of opening ourselves to transcendent experiences. They take us beyond ourselves. As long as there is nothing inherently pathological in the contextual relationship, they can lead to greater maturity. They can also provide deep feelings of joy, peace and profound fulfillment. Love soothes the savage beast within, it heals pain and suffering, and it spreads a spiritual oil on the stormy waters of mortal experience. Why would anyone question the virtue of Love?

Because the question arises, when you turn it upside down, “Does it limit growth?” Love does wonderful things. It is truly transformational. But, when we have the perception that Love is the end goal, that it is the most divine of all attributes attainable to mortals, and when the feelings of Love are so profound that we stop seeking, has it become a wall to further growth and understanding?

What if Love exists to help us get to a stage of growth where we can grasp a greater understanding of our true nature, and where we can attain greater qualities of Divinity? What if we have misappropriated the true purpose of love and turned it from a vehicle to an objective? What if a small shift of paradigms allows us to use love to propel us to a level of growth and consciousness where we can behold and experience vast vistas of Divinity that would not be available to us otherwise? What if this releases Divine power within us that cannot be found if we stop because Love is so utterly fulfilling?

Is there something beyond Love?

45-day Challenge

I have joined Bob Doyle’s 45-day Boundless Living Challenge. The rules are solid and integrous. It is based upon the concept of declaring your dream — something you have wanted to do, but didn’t for some reason — then pursuing it vigorously for 45 days. You are encouraged to identify the blockages you have had and then work toward dispelling them. The community is amazingly helpful and the tools are good. The intention is the “journey”. If you take intentional, inspired action daily toward your goal for 45 days, amazing things will happen.

I have seen this work in other areas of my life and others. I am excited about this opportunity. There are no costs and it is not a marketing ploy. Take a look at it, you might want to participate, too. Just imagine what your life would feel like if you went for it. Can you hear the sounds of delight? Join me….

How to raise your experience of Thanksgiving

Have you ever been alone for a special day, such as a holiday or a birthday? How did you feel? Most of us have had that experience. What is important is how we choose to react to it. We usually want people around us to recognize the “specialness” of the day, which is another way of saying we want them to acknowledge that we are special.

When I was in college, I was a 3,000 mile plane trip from home. I usually only went home for Christmas and for the summer. Most of the time I was invited to a friend’s home or a faculty member’s home for the other holidays.

One Thanksgiving, though, I was without an invitation. All my friends had gone home and I was alone in my apartment. It would have been very easy to feel lonely, but I chose a different path.

I decided this was an ideal opportunity to truly have a day of giving thanks. Being very committed to religious practice at the time, I made this a day of fasting and prayer. Instead of gorging myself on food, as I usually did, I chose to do without food or drink. This day was to be devoted to activities that allowed me to focus on my spiritual connectedness, and to express gratitude for my blessings.

At one point I got on my bicycle and rode all over campus. I do not recall seeing another person there that day. I was truly alone… but, I was not lonely. I felt very connected to my Source of truth. And, I felt very grateful.

Thanksgiving Day has been different for me ever since. That one event allowed me to step away from the cultural norm and to go back to the roots of the day. There are other reasons to celebrate Thanksgiving — being with family and friends is a significant one — but, they all focus upon gratitude.

What can you gain from this? Three things:
1) We can choose our reality. You may not yet believe that we can truly change our physical circumstances. That’s ok. For now, just allow yourself to understand that we can choose how we respond to our context. In choosing our response, we can deeply change the experience. In NLP this is called “reframing.”

2) Our choices have impacts long into the future. Two paths may diverge with only a slight separation. Over time that slight separation becomes a huge difference.

3) Consciously or not, we are always choosing our response and, thus, choosing our paths. Most people are “stumbling” onto their path by automatic reactions. Those who are “awake”, choose their responses deliberately. Choose your paths wisely, because you are truly choosing your future reality.

May today, and every day, be a day of thanksgiving for you so that your chosen path may lead to the future you desire.